ARACHNOPHOBIA!

There’s a spider crawling up my leg
A spider sleeping in my bed
A spider living in my shed
One in my chicken sandwich sucking on my slice of bread
 
I want to scream
I want to shout
I want to tear my hair out
I want to shriek
I’m feeling sick
Please someone dial 999 quick
My friends say “Neal – what’s wrong with ya?”
I say “ARACHNOPHOBIA!”
 
There’s a spider wedged between my toes
A cobweb hanging from my nose
A spider chewing on my clothes
A spider moving in to make my wardrobe his new home
 
I’m panting
I’m sweating hot
I’m frozen stiff, stuck to this spot
I’m horrified
I’m petrified
My stomach’s churning up inside
My friends say “Neal – what’s wrong with ya?”
I say “ARACHNOPHOBIA!”
 
A spider’s sitting in my chair
Another’s tangled in my hair
There’s a spider here, a spider there
Three spiders in my underwear
 
I want to yell
I want to flee
There’s a spider swimming in my tea
I want to faint
I want to vomit
I can’t even face reading Spider-Man comics
My friends say “Neal – what’s wrong with ya?”
I say “ARACHNOPHOBIA!”
 
Some people are scared of the dark, snakes, flying or their teachers
Me? I’m absolutely terrified by them small eight-legged creatures
My friends say “Neal – what’s wrong with ya?”
I say “ARACHNOPHOBIA!”